Tille Family

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Post Break Update

I am so torn emotionally and physically since my last post. I don’t even know where to begin. The last week has been SO SO difficult. I have dealt with so many new pressures. Not only am I fulfilling my old role as husband, father and provider for 6, but I am doing so much more. Angela contributed so much to this well oiled machine that is our home and family. She takes on the responsibility of watching Meredith but also a baby or two all day long. She manages all of the daily chores (laundry, meals, dishes, baths, bottles and so much more during every day that I can’t begin to list them all). Spending a few hours here once or twice a week doesn’t begin to touch what goes on when you’re here 24/7 with no breaks. It is absolutely amazing how much Angela does during any given day and after nearly a week of it, it is really making my head start to spin. I’m wearing very thin. Angela tolerates the crying so much better that I do (and OMG there’s so much crying). And then there’s Meredith. If you’ve ever spent time watching and caring for Meredith for an extended period of time, you have a small idea of how much action we’re talking about. Constant motion. It isn’t that she’s naughty (and she isn’t), it’s that she is just always moving and never stops. Everything is fair game. You really can’t keep up. By the time you’ve taken away something that she shouldn’t have she’s already dropped something else and moved to the third thing she shouldn’t have before you even knew it happened. Time outs don’t work and you can’t take toys away, because she’ll just play with the babies toys. The child locks on all of our cabinets have no real value. She just reaches her skinny little hand in the gap and takes whatever she wants. Argh. Back to Meredith in a bit…

So here I sit writing this silly post. I have 3 wonderful volunteers taking care of the two babies that have woken from their naps early which has allowed me the time to write. I feel so bad for my bride. She’s in pain. She has to listen to “the machine” as it’s in full throttle up the same set of stairs that caused her to be where she is laying her head right now. I wish she could use this time to get some much earned rest, but she’s worried and guilt ridden that she has placed all of this responsibility on others and feels helpless to the situation. Since her fall, we’ve had wonderful support. So many of you have stepped up. A daily meal plan was created for us and we have nightly meals coming in every day through the first week of May. It has helped a lot. Thank you all so much! The schedule for volunteers was full last week and is full again this week. Next week is nearly full. Angela’s mom and aunt made a trip to see her in the hospital for a day prior to going back home. My parents took a couple days off work last week and made the trip northeast. They stayed through the weekend. Momma K. (Angela Kaiser) took a couple days off work to fill my bride’s role during the day on Monday and Tuesday and Wendy Hill is here today and tomorrow to help out all day so that I can work. You guys are just awesome.

Here’s the hammer…the kids are sick, AGAIN!!! Alex and Lauren threw up a few bottles and all of them have spiked temps between 101 and 102.5 since some time in the weekend. That’s all under control now, but they have cold symptoms which makes bottles and sleeping difficult. I don’t know if it’s a cold, flu, allergies, teething or all of them at once. I’ve been averaging about 3-5 hours of interrupted sleep each night and that’s wearing on me and I hope and pray that I haven’t been too short with anyone. If so, I am so sorry. I don’t behave well when I’m short on sleep. What sucks is that I don’t nap well so that’s out of the question.

Back to Meredith…So what are we doing with her during the day while I’m working and Angela is in bed? Two words: day care. Although we had many wonderful offers from family and friends to take her, I hate having to send her away. I had to do it last summer and I swore I wouldn’t do it again. I cried last summer after one exchange where she screamed and cried that she didn’t want to go as I sent her away with my mother for yet another week away. So we’re fortunate that we’ve found a place for her close to home; just down the street a couple blocks with another young family. They have two little girls Meredith’s age to play with. She’ll get a chance for a little socialization with kids instead of infants and 30-70 year old women. Bless all of your hearts, but Meredith really needs to play with some other kids to develop that kind of socialization. She will go every day during the week until Angela is back up to running at full steam.

So when does Angela get back up and going. Next Tuesday she has a follow up meeting with her Orthopedic Surgeon to take a peek and determine long term planning for her recovery. My guess is that she’ll be semi mobile, but still very limited for the next 4-6 weeks at a minimum.

Angela and I have been truly tested this past year. We are both stronger now, no doubt, but we still have times where we question what the heck the good Lord is doing to us. Someone close to Angela said something to her yesterday that really made me step back for a second and think. There are times (especially recently) where we feel like things are hopeless and things just never seem to go right, but we have to consider that as difficult as things are, we are still VERY blessed. We have six beautiful, healthy children. We have an army of friends and volunteers that love us and help us tremendously every day. We have our own families that love us. We have a solid home and I have a GREAT job with an even better boss in a down economy. The sun is gonna come up tomorrow and it will be a new day. I just pray the lord gives us an easy one sooner than later.

Until next time…